by
Robert Sterling
Editor, The Konformist
http://www.konformist.com
http://www.konformist.com/botm/volume05/boty2002.htm
Beast of the Year 2002
The Shrub Military-Industrial Police State,
American Terrorist Network
The votes are in, and The Konformist readers
have spoken.
The Shrub Military-Industrial
Police State is your choice for the 2002 Beast of the Year
- a choice that is well deserved.
He may not have been elected President, but
give Shrub and his cronies their due: they have won the highly
coveted Beast of the Year trophy in back-to-back years. And when
it comes to his repeat victories, there is no issues of hanging
chad or illegally purged voters. Last year the Bush Mob won it
for swindling an election. This year they have repeated for turning
the USA into a frightening overt fascist state, much of it by
exploiting the panic of 911.
Of course, Shrub couldn't have pulled it
off alone: he's simply not smart enough. That's why, once again,
it is a team award, given to all who were part of the sinister
attack on American freedoms by an illegally installed government.
When told of the victory while partying on
Beast Island (with Beast of the Year host Mark Wahlberg of Temptation
Island and Beast Island Security Chief Rudy G) he was, unsurprisingly,
smug. He immediately shouted, "In your face!!!" Then
pumping his fists in the air, he started chanting, "Repeat!!!
Repeat!!! Repeat!!!" As the other eleven contestants exited,
he pointed at them and yelled, "Later, losers!"
The biggest surprise of all, however, was how overwhelming
the pick of the Shrub Team was: they received over fifty percent
of the vote, a gigantic increase over even last years decisive
win. Obviously, as an icon of evil, Shrub is gaining in popularity
(at least among Konformist readers.) Can he go for three in a
row in 2003? Anything appears possible with this guy. Stay tuned.
Runner-Up:
Richard "Donkey Dick" Cheney
In the unlikely event that Shrub and co. can no
longer fill their duties as Beast of the Year (such as doing something
shockingly decent), Richard "Donkey Dick" Cheney is
ready to take over the crown. Rest assured the BOTY trophy is
in good hands either way, as Dick has been a prime beast in the
Bush Mob itself. (Indeed, he has taken his share of The Konformist
Beast of the Year the past two years for his involvement in the
election swindle and fascist takeover.) His kreepy involvement
in the Shrub energy policy (actions which could - and should -
lead to a Nixon-esque political scandal, and (unless his faulty
ticker should go out) he will no doubt continue in Beastly pursuits
over the next twelve months.
The Bronze:
Antonin Scalia
If, on the unlikely event that both the Bush Mob
and Donkey Dick can't fill their duties, Antonin Scalia will no
doubt do the job well. After all, he's the one who got them where
they are to commit mass Beastliness in the first place.
In any case, we salute you all, Shrub Gestapo,
Donkey Dick and Antonin. Congratulations, and keep up the great
work!!!
Note: What about Osama?
When the Beast of the Year 2002 contest started
up, Las Vegas put up an early line as Osama bin Laden as the overwhelming
favorite. It was a sucker's bet: not only was he trounced by Shrub
for the victory, but he didn't even finish in the top three, and
barely finished above Robert Mugabe for fourth place.
This leads to a question: why? How could
the man who is officially held responsible for the mass murder
of over 3,000 Americans on 911 finished so dismally?
The answer appears to be twofold: one, there
is widespread doubt among Konformist readers as to if Osama even
had anything to do with 911. Two, even if he did, Osama looks
more and more every day as a Phantom Menace, a hired dog for a
much more sinister scheme. Osama, then, appears to be (wittingly
or not) a Darth Maul to Shrub and his pals as the would be Empire.
Thus, the winner, place and show all reflect Konformist readers
view of what is the true danger to liberation, which is what the
Beast of the Month is all about.
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